A Theory for Last Christmas.

The trailer for Last Christmas dropped and I’m pretty sure it went viral pretty quickly. I think I have watched it 17 times or so by now. You can watch it here. After watching it, I have a theory.

Emilia Clarke plays Kate, a girl stumbling through life who works as a Christmas Elf at a year round Christmas shop. She meets a man named Tom, played by Henry Golding, and her life seems to begin to change for the better. In the trailer, we learn that Kate had gotten really sick and almost died so now she’s “scared all the time.” She’s drinking like a fish, barely getting through her day, making one bad decision after another. And, seeing as it’s a Christmas movie, she’s in a bit of a “bah humbug” mental space.

Like I said, I have a theory.

My theory is that Tom is a ghost. I think that Kate needed a heart transplant which is why she nearly died. I think that Tom had died and was an organ donor so Kate received his heart. Since Kate had gotten really sick, she’s afraid it might happen again so she’s not living her best life. My theory is that since she has Tom’s heart, she has hallucinations of him. She sees him because she’s wasting the second chance at life that she got – so, Tom is her conscience in a way. He brings her out of her funk in time for Christmas.

Where did this theory come from? Tom tells Kate that it’s not accidental that they keep bumping into each other when she tells him he’s never there when she’s looking for him. Her admission to being really sick and nearly dying has me thinking it was something severe like a heart problem. And the fact that it’s a Christmas movie. There’s always a twist. Plus, it’s called Last Christmas and features the song of the same title. “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart…”

Okay, I’m reaching a little. But I still feel it’s a pretty solid theory. What do you think?

I love Emilia Clarke. She did an incredible job in Me Before You and Game of Thrones. I can’t wait to see this movie! It releases on November 8th in theaters. I have my calendar marked and I’m planning on bringing tissues and chocolate.

What’s your favorite holiday movie? Leave a comment below!

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Five Things That Make Me Happy.

Mental health can be exhausting, saddening, and overwhelming. I decided to take a break from my blog and focus on my life and it has been pretty beneficial. As one of my Get To Know The Blogger posts, I’ve decided to write Five Things That Make Me Happy.

Happiness is the state of being happy. Happy is feeling or showing pleasure and contentment. (Yes, I got that from the dictionary.) To me, happiness is a state of mind where you’re not wallowing in the dark recesses of your mind.

Now, the five things that make me happy…

1. My children. I love all four of their wonderful personalities. Raelynn is artistic and silly. Charlotte is sporty and sarcastic. Maverick is just a giggle monster. And Elijah, he’s just a happy baby. I love their curiosity, their wonder, their laughter, their ideas. They brighten my day.

2. Talking to my mom. My mother is my best friend. She praises my accomplishments and brags when I’m doing good. She’ll also give me a reality check when I’m being dumb. She loves me unconditionally and she’s my rock. Talking to her makes me happy. I miss our late night conversations on the porch.

3. Sleeping in on weekends. I don’t “sleep in” by much, maybe an extra 30 minutes from my work days, but that extra 30 minutes does wonders for my overall mood. I wake up with a smile rather than being a grumpy troll.

4. Reaching small goals. Each checkmark I make on my list of goals puts a smile on my face. Maybe its remembering to take the trash to the dumpster or its finishing a chapter of my book. If I manage to cross of three things of my to-do list, I’m pretty happy with myself. My next small goal is finishing two more chapters of Ghost of You.

5. My friends. I’m not using this as a cop-out answer either. My friends are some of the best people in the world. They know how to make my worst day into my best day with a simple text or a gif. And when the days are really dark, my best friends know exactly how to pull me out of it.

There are more than 5 things that make me happy. I’m sure this list could go on for a while if I tried.

But, these five things are the important ones. My kids, my mom, my friends… they are 3/4 of my heart. Sleep and reaching small goals are basic self-care for myself. I find myself smiling more and happier these days because I hold tight to my support people, I practice self-care when I can, and I’m reaching goals I’ve made for myself.

Little by little, day by day, one step at a time, I can do this. I can keep my happy state of mind.

Happy International Self Care Day!

July 24th is International Self Care Day! I hope you all took some time for yourselves and practiced a little self love. Sometimes we forget to allow ourselves to reset and we exhaust ourselves by trying to give when we are on empty.

In case you haven’t taken any time out today to practice a little self care, do so now. Drink a glass of water. Pick a movie and pop some popcorn. Color. Take a bubble bath. Give yourself a mani-pedi. Whatever it takes.

Remember, I’m always here if you need a friend. Drop a comment below with your favorite way to relax. Happy International Self Care Day!

The Dos and Don’ts of Loving An Addict.

Something that needs to be said is that addiction is a mental illness. There are many people who would disagree with this statement, saying that “it’s a choice.” Wrong. People who are coping with addiction have brain structures that look and behave differently than people without addiction. Addiction is a mental illness and if we are to help people with addiction recover, we must stop blaming them for making “bad choices” and dismissing them as inherently bad or weak.

Statistics from 2017 say that 20 million Americans struggle with drug and alcohol abuse. 20 million people. And that’s only in the United States. Did you know that overdose is one of the top three causes of accidental deaths in the United States? 47,600 deaths in 2017.

So, what can you do if someone you love suffers from dependency?

Do:

– Speak with positivity and optimism. Try your best to be empathetic. Be understanding and patient.

– Give encouragement when your loved one achieves a goal; even if that goal is one day sober. Baby steps.

– Address the underlying reasons for the substance abuse. Understand that sometimes “I don’t know” is their reason.

– Educate yourself on the addiction of the relevant substance. Learn warning signs.

– Encourage treatment for your loved one.

Don’t:

– Punish the person for failing to maintain sobriety. It’s not easy.

– Speak negatively or accusingly. Do not trigger feelings of shame or guilt.

– Place the entire responsibility with your loved one. Understand that they do and will need help.

– Give ultimatums. They’re a catalyst for failure.

The best thing you can do is offer to be there, and actually be there. Remind them that they are loved and that they are not alone. Remember: the choice to seek treatment, to be sober, to get clean… it has to be their choice. You can not make that choice for them.

To my loved ones who have and who are struggling with dependency, know that I love you. I want you to wake up every morning and face your demons head on. I will be there to hold your hand, literally or figuratively. I may not fully understand what you’re going through but I will always be there to listen. I can give you advice to the best of my ability. I can (and do) love you without judgement.

If you are looking to seek treatment and don’t know where to start, here are some helpful resources:

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration’s (SAMHSA) national helpline: 1-800-622-HELP (1-800-622-4357) It’s confidential, free, open 24/7 365 days a year. It’s available in English and in Spanish.

You can search for a treatment facility near you.

A Secondary Blog.

Are you obsessed with Gilmore Girls?

Because if I’m being totally honest with you, I am. I have been having in depth conversations (talking wormhole status) with my best friend, Chloe, for years. Something about that mother-daughter duo just rocked my world something fierce and has kept me wanting, needing, and obsessing.

Well, Chloe and I had originally planned to start a podcast together but we live somewhere around 3,000 miles away from each other. Plus, neither one of us knows the first thing about starting a podcast.

We both can write, though. We do so with passion. The obvious decision was to start a blog together. And thus A Table at Luke’s was born. On A Table at Luke’s you will find a multitude of opinion, comparisons, and some rabbit-hole type theories.

I’m pretty excited about it. More writing for me about more things I’m passionate about!