Imagine. You spend every day talking to someone – someone that begins to really mean something to you. Your conversations flow easily as if you had known each other your whole lives. You’re able to tell that person what ails you, what secrets you hide, and even your deepest fears. You build trust in a person. You develop feelings, either platonically or romantically, for this person.
And then one day… They just disappear from your life completely without an explanation. You’re left without closure. You wonder what you did. You wonder why the left. You wonder where it all went wrong. You’re left playing a game of “what if.” You come up with the worst possible scenario, trying to justify their leaving.
In my case, I convinced myself that I wasn’t worth an answer. For me, the psychological pain of being ghosted was devastating.
In reality, it was them who left. They’re the ones who decided something wasn’t right. Be it with you or with themselves. They couldn’t find the courage or respect to communicate. It’s not you. It’s not me. It was them.
They’re the ones that ghosted you.
Ghosting. The “fun” and “new” trend in dating. It’s neither fun nor new. By definition, Ghosting is “breaking off a relationship (often an intimate relationship) by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.” It’s like a silent, passive-aggressive “It’s not you, it’s me” break-up. But it hurts. SO. MUCH. WORSE.
Being ghosted can have severe effects. Days, weeks, months, and in some cases years of feeling disposable, used, and/or as if you’re not good enough. From experience, months after being ghosted on, I still questioned what I had done wrong. What could I have changed? What was wrong with me?
Building up your self-worth isn’t easy; especially after something as terrible as being ghosted by someone you thought loved you (or really cared.)
I hope if any of you, my dear readers, has been ghosted that you know that you are NOT the one at fault here. And, if by chance, you are the one that has ghosted on someone – please think of the consequences of your actions. Your actions affect others, not just yourself.
Feel free to leave your experience with ghosting/being ghosted below in the comment section. Until next time.